Three Strikes and You. Are. Out.

So to continue on from my last post.  I've officially retired from eHarmony and now am just on PoF and Match.

I've had dates with four different guys in the last two months. 

Date #1 - We shall call him Mitch*.  Mitch and I met on eHarmony and talked for about two weeks before we met.  We met at a little Irish place for drinks one week night.  When I got to the restaurant, he was already sitting down and didn't bother to get up to give me a hug or a handshake - strike 1.  Referencing the last post about not lying on your profile - I come to realize that Mitch posted pictures that were about 5-7 years old.  He sort of looked like his picture, but add about 50 pounds, less hair and a little weathered look - strike 2.  Conversation over dinner was primarily dominated by him and talking about his work/school.  That is fine, but he was mainly talking about people he works with and things he had to get done that week.  If I worked with him, that would be fine, but since I didn't  I had no clue what he was talking about - we'll give that 1/2 of a strike.  Now I'm a pretty firm believer that if you ask someone out on a date, you should be the person to pay (that goes the same if I ask someone out - I should pay).  So the bill comes and he doesn't really do anything with it and since he asked, I wasn't going to get out my wallet.  After a few minutes, he realizes that I wasn't planning to contribute, so he ends up paying - this makes up for the 1/2 strike.  The bill is paid and we go to leave the restaurant.  Then I notice STRIKE 3...  He lied about another thing in his profile - his height.  His profile says he was 5'8" and when he stood up, he was no taller than me (5'2").  I thanked him for the date and we went our separate ways.  I DID, however, email him the next day, thank him again, but told him that I was not interested in another date. 

Date #2: He'll be called Gary*.  Gary and I met at a Town Center.  We started talking on PoF and conversation had been spotty.  I got a little lost on the way there, but he was very nice to help me find my way.  He shows me around and we end up at one of the restaurants to order drinks (mine = alcoholic, his = not).  Conversation went well so we ordered a few appetizers.  Bill came and he said we should split it - Strike 1.  I was a little urked by this b/c we met close to his house AND he asked for the date, but I'm trying to be more open minded.  We walk around after dinner and then sit and talk.  During the conversation I find out that he is going to go away for the next 7 months starting in mid-June - Strike 2.  Now why start going out on dates with people if you know you are leaving soon?  Especially when the first two months you are away, the only way you can communicate is by hand written letters?  Ok, still trying to be open minded.  Then he drops the religion bomb on me.  Not only is he religious, but he comes from a faith that does not believe in medicine.  AND, he believes that prayer is enough to cure cancer.  I felt bad, because I really had to try not to laugh.  Whereas I respect people's beliefs, I can also respectfully think that their beliefs are crazy.  - Strike 3
I was pretty intrigued by the whole religion thing, so we did go out a second time.  I then realized that although he is religious and everything, he had one thing on his mind and unfortunately didn't get what he wanted from me.

Date #3 - This was on my birthday with Aaron*.  Aaron and I met at a local restaurant that just so happened to be both of our favorite.  I was excited b/c I was going to have my favorite meal and had had fun talking to Aaron over the last few weeks.  My first impression of him was that he was kind of preppy and had a pretty good smile.  Lunch went rather well and I still had some time before my dinner plans, so we decided to go see a movie.  He offered to drive over there.  The weather on this day was about 100 degrees out and I believe I did see an egg frying on a sidewalk.  We walk over to his car and it was this Honda sports car.  I don't really know much about cars, but apparently it was expensive and fast.  We drive over to the theater and he pulls up to the theater and parks in the back.  Then he has to lock everything down so it doesn't get stolen - meanwhile I'm melting in the sun.  Since he paid for lunch, I offered to pay for the movie and a bucket of soda for each of us (seriously the smalls were about bucket size).  For the first half of the movie, he was a little touchy-feely.  He would put his hand on my leg and rub it a little or hold my hand.  Now people who know me well, know that I am not a touchy-feely person and have to be VERY comfortable with someone to let them touch me.  So I was a little uncomfortable with this, but I was trying to get over myself.  Then he starts to go higher and higher on my leg.  I was trying to look nice and stay cool, so I had worn a sundress to the date.  Needless to say, he got up to the undies, I took his hand away, gave him this look like "what the F are you doing" and playfully punched his arm.  Then during a pretty good part of the movie, he grabs my hand and proceeds to put it on his exposed "unit".  WTF?!?!?!?  I looked at him and said "WTF are you thinking?  Put that thing away".  God, did I want to just get up and leave.  However, he drove over there and it was either stick it out or get a cab.  I decided to stick it out.  He ended up trying the move again.  I told him to grow up.  Luckily the movie was over not long after that.  He drove me back to my car and asked if he could see me again.  I politely said that he made me extremly uncomfortable and wished him good luck on his search.  Even now, a few days after the fact, I still am shaking my head and asking myself "who does that"...

Guy #4 - this post is long enough and I have a second date with Guy #4, so I will wait to write more about him another time.

*Names were changed to protect the guity...

Online Dating

I am a single 32 year old woman. I live in a city where it's hard to date. So, I turn to the internet to help me find a date. At this time in my life, I've pretty much tried all the major dating sites (Match, Yahoo, Eharmony, Chemistry and even Plenty of Fish). I believe in being honest when it comes to my online profiles, but it drives me crazy when people who have qualities that I'm not looking for contact me. And it's pretty much every guy who contacts me... Maybe I'm too picky, or have my standards set too high, but I know that there are a few things that I am not going to budge on. For example:
*You must be taller than me. I know I'm short and most people are taller than me, but I would like to think that by dating a guy who is 5'6" or taller I am giving my future children a chance at not being a midget. So I have on my profile that I would like to date a guy taller than 5'6". I'm sure that there are some guys that are shorter than that who are great guys, but I'm stubborn, ok.
*You MUST NOT SMOKE. I might make an exception if you only smoke when you drink, unless you drink on a daily basis. I think smoking is a gross habbit and I don't want to kiss an ash tray. I know I have dated a smoker in the past and have gone out on a few dates with one recently. However the more I think about it, the harder it is for me to breathe. No smokers, please.
*You must have some sort of a college education. I'm ok with a bachelors degree, advanced degrees are welcome. I don't care if you just graduated at 34, but I worked hard to get my education and think you should as well. Again, I'm sure that there are guys out there who didn't go to college who are great guys... call me a snob if you want.
*You must spell check what you write me. Do I even have to explain this one further?
*You must not be separated. I will make an exception if you are fully divorced (preferrably if the divorce happened 3+ years ago). I've dated a newly divorced person and there is a lot of baggage still. I can only imagine if the papers haven't even been signed yet...

And some I might teeter on a little:
*Kids. I keep going back and forth on this one. I'm not even sure that I want them myself. I think that as long as there isn't a lot of drama surrounding it, I might be able to date someone with kids. Still not sure on this one though. Guess it depends on the guy.
*Location. If you live in the DC area, you will understand this one. Even though according to google maps, Gaithersburg is only 30 miles away, that could mean up to 3 hours to get there from my house. Call me lazy, but I would prefer you lived inside the Beltway, please.

Bottom line, I'm pretty honest about these things in my profile. If you are going to contact me, please read my profile. And if I don't contact you because you have one of the traits above, don't continue to email/wink/chat me if I don't respond. That will get you blocked.

Is it just me? Should I start lying in my profiles? Should I be less picky? What am I doing wrong?

Newspaper Girl on the Bus

I am fascinated by people. The weirder the better...

There is this girl that rides my bus in the mornings on the way to work. No matter what the temperature, she always has on a rain jacket and pants. And when she goes to sit down in the seat, she puts down a Metro Express (I guess) to separate her butt from the dirty seat. Anyway, me being the observant person that I am, start to notice this after she sits next to me a few times. Something else I notice is that she always leaves the newspaper behind when we get off the bus at the Metro station. This annoys me. If you bring it on, you should take it off. Now I have a feeling that she uses and leaves it because she's a germ-a-phoebe, but wear gloves or something! I make it my crusade to make sure she takes the paper with her when she exits the bus (even if she throws it in the trash when she gets off). I have given her the paper a few times so far. This past Monday, she sits down next to me, complete with paper separating her ass from the seat, long pants and a rain jacket. When we reach the Metro station, she hops up out of her seat and practically runs off the bus so I can't chase after her with the germy paper. She runs all the way down into the Metro station... I laugh in my head all the way to work. Not sure why I find this funny, but I do. Sadly, she has not ridden the bus again this week.

I look forward to the next time though!